An orgasm is defined, according to dictionary.com, as “a climax of sexual excitement, characterized by feelings of pleasure centered in the genitals and (in men) experienced as an accompaniment to ejaculation.” This description shows that the main focus when it comes to sex is on the male experience. For most people, the first interaction they have is their first exposure to pornography, which is typically manufactured for men. Although there are some pornographic movies and videos made for women, men are the main consumers; 72% of porn viewers are men, which compels most porn directors to make their commodity in viewpoints that men would enjoy, mainly ones that focus on male pleasure, and extremely exaggerate the amount of pleasure the woman gets in exchange. According to Vox’s Netflix series “Explained,” “In a 2017 study of 50,000 men and women, 95% of straight men regularly orgasm during sex, compared to 65% of straight women. Yet, for gay women that number was 86%.” So why is it harder for women to orgasm when a man is involved? It all goes back to pornography. The average age boys begin to watch porn are between 8 and 11 and they continue throughout their lives, learning inaccurate information about sex that could ruin their relationships with women.

Pornography doesn’t only inadvertently damage the sex lives of men, some women also gain their knowledge of sex from it and, unfortunately, believe what they see on the screen is real. Some girls grow up to believe they must make the same exaggerated actions as porn stars, so, when they don’t get the same satisfaction they expected from the videos, these girls believe they are inadequate and must fake their orgasms in order to seem “sexier” to men. A study showed 50% of women faked their orgasms, many of whom believe they have to accommodate to men’s egos. This stems back to the media. Porn, and even movies and television shows, depict women as sexual objects catered toward the male gaze. How women feel isn’t important as long as the man is satisfied. Growing up in a world where this is the norm, it is almost expected that women believe their pleasure is either nonexistent or insignificant.

Before the media was invented and women were forced to pretend they feel sexually satisfied, women who were unable to feel pleasure during intercourse were diagnosed with “hysteria” and were treated by doctors by masturbating” women with clitoral stimulation and “pelvic massages.” After doctors complained that the task was tedious, they created vibrators to make the job easier. This gave women the ability to finally venture out on their own to explore their sexual peculiarity.

But the real question is, why does it take so long for women to realize their erotic potential? Men typically have two possible methods of orgasm – penile stimulation and prostate stimulation, a.k.a. the male “g spot” – while women have multiple. The most famous being clitoral stimulation. However, what most men and women don’t know it that the clitoris is not just a small “button” above the vagina; in fact, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. According to healthline.com “while ‘clitoral orgasms’ and ‘vaginal orgasms’ were once seen as different entities, all female orgasms are technically the result of clitoral stimulation (i.e., different parts of the iceberg).” According to dictionary.com, the clitoris is defined as “a small sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals at the anterior end of the vulva.” However, from what we know, the clitoris is a huge part of female reproductive anatomy, revealing how much the female body is not educated to either sexes.

Sexual education classes only cover aspects of maturity like menstruation and contraception but students are never taught how to explore their sexuality in a safe and appropriate way. Hence, this is why so many people believe pornography correctly demonstrates the reality of intercourse. It should be encouraged for males and females to become familiar with their bodies and what makes them feel comfortable or uncomfortable so they can be better prepared to communicate what they desire when they believe they are ready to engage in sexual intercourse.

To watch, search “Explained” on Netflix or go to Netflix.com/explained. Click the “My List” button to make sure you don’t miss an episode. You can sign up for a free trial for a month.