Why Do Some Men Commit Domestic Violence?

By Pearl Phillip, Exclusive to CAW | Editorial credit: MAYA LAB / shutterstock.com

Domestic violence is a pervasive issue that affects millions of people across the United States. While significant support is provided for survivors, understanding the causes of domestic violence, particularly why some men commit it, is essential to prevent future occurrences. Research highlights that trauma, social isolation, societal expectations, and a lack of healthy coping mechanisms often contribute to abusive behaviors. By addressing these root causes, we can foster more effective interventions and, ultimately, end the cycle of violence.

Domestic Violence in the U.S.: A Startling Reality

Domestic violence in the U.S. is distressingly common. Studies show that nearly half of all men and women in the country experience physical or sexual violence, stalking, psychological harm, or coercion in romantic relationships during their lives. Yet, domestic violence is not experienced equally across the population. Vulnerable groups—including young people, immigrants, people of color, and LGBTQ+ individuals—are disproportionately affected, underscoring the critical need for nuanced support and tailored intervention.

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For example, nearly 75% of female survivors report that their first experience of domestic violence occurred before age 25, indicating that early-life trauma plays a significant role in setting the stage for future victimization and perpetration. Similarly, immigrant and LGBTQ+ communities face unique challenges, such as fear of reporting abuse due to immigration concerns or lack of inclusive resources. Addressing domestic violence requires both supporting survivors and tackling the underlying issues that drive some individuals to commit acts of violence. It’s also important to note that domestic violence has a profound impact on children. In the United States, according to Domestic Violence Services, Inc, 5 million children witness domestic violence each year. Additionally, Psychology Today reported that in homes where partner violence occurs, there is a 45% to 60% chance of co-occurring child abuse, underscoring the need for comprehensive interventions.

Key Contributing Factors to Domestic Violence Perpetration

Trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Trauma, especially in early life, is a substantial predictor of future violent behavior. Many men who perpetrate domestic violence experienced abuse, neglect, or other traumatic events during childhood. This type of early trauma often leads to maladaptive coping mechanisms, creating a cycle of abuse where individuals recreate the dynamics they witnessed or suffered.

Research on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) reveals that exposure to traumatic events like domestic violence, substance abuse, or parental neglect significantly increases the risk of becoming either a victim or perpetrator of abuse in adulthood. For many, addressing unresolved trauma through therapy, support groups, and community resources can be instrumental in breaking the cycle of abuse.

Social Isolation and Lack of Support Networks

Social isolation can exacerbate violent tendencies, as men without strong support networks or positive outlets may struggle to cope with stress, frustration, or anger. Loneliness and isolation are shown to correlate with mental health issues, often leading to increased anxiety, depression, and, in some cases, aggression. This issue is particularly relevant in rural communities with limited resources, and isolation may be more profound.

Additionally, the stigmatization of men seeking emotional support often prevents individuals from forming healthy relationships or accessing mental health resources, leaving them without the tools to manage their emotions constructively.

Societal Expectations and Masculine Norms

Cultural expectations of masculinity can drive individuals toward violent behaviors. Many men are raised in environments that promote strength, dominance, and control as masculine ideals, while vulnerability, emotional expression, and empathy are discouraged. This ‘toxic masculinity’ framework urgently calls for societal change to create a more balanced and healthy view of masculinity.

When combined with past trauma or a lack of social support, these rigid norms can lead to violent behavior, as some men feel pressured to assert control or display dominance in their relationships. Addressing and reshaping societal expectations around masculinity could be vital to reducing domestic violence.

Substance Abuse and Poor Coping Mechanisms

Substance abuse is a common factor in many domestic violence cases. Drugs and alcohol impair judgment and reduce inhibition, often leading individuals to act impulsively or aggressively. For those with underlying trauma or unaddressed emotional pain, substance abuse becomes a coping mechanism that amplifies the likelihood of violence.

Poor coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, avoidance, or denial, hinder emotional regulation and healthy communication. Instead of addressing conflicts constructively, men who rely on such mechanisms may lash out in harmful ways, creating a destructive cycle that harms themselves and others.

Effective Interventions: Pathways to Ending Domestic Violence

To address domestic violence meaningfully, society must focus on preventing abusive behaviors before they escalate. Here are some crucial intervention points:

Trauma-Informed Therapy and Support Services

Therapy can play a transformative role for those who have experienced trauma or who exhibit violent behaviors. Trauma-informed treatment, specifically, helps individuals understand and process their past experiences, equipping them with healthier coping strategies. Support services, including community programs and peer support groups, can also foster connection and accountability, which are essential in preventing isolation-driven violence.

Community and Social Support Systems

Community support systems that connect men with positive role models, mentors, or mental health professionals can reduce the risk of domestic violence. Programs that promote social bonding, emotional expression, and nonviolent conflict resolution offer alternative outlets for stress and provide individuals with constructive ways to deal with their emotions.

Education and Social Norm Change

Educating communities about healthy relationships, consent, and nonviolent communication can help reshape harmful norms around masculinity. Programs aimed at young men can deconstruct stereotypes about masculinity and encourage a more compassionate, empathetic approach to relationships. Schools, workplaces, and community organizations all have a role to play in fostering healthier, violence-free interpersonal dynamics. By prioritizing education, we can empower individuals to recognize and address abusive behaviors, thereby preventing domestic violence before it occurs.

Addressing Substance Abuse as a Preventative Measure

Providing accessible substance abuse treatment and integrating addiction recovery with mental health services can reduce the likelihood of violence stemming from substance-induced aggression. Encouraging open conversations about addiction and treatment options can remove the stigma around seeking help, making it easier for those at risk to find support before harm occurs.

Supporting Survivors and Transforming Society

October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time dedicated to increasing awareness, honoring survivors, and encouraging communities to take action to end domestic violence. This month serves as a powerful reminder of the countless individuals impacted by domestic abuse and the urgent need for support and preventive measures. Across the nation, advocates, organizations, and survivors join forces to shed light on the pervasive issue of domestic violence and to drive conversations around effective solutions. Together, we can build safer, more compassionate communities by raising awareness and providing critical resources to those affected.

Understanding the causes of domestic violence is essential to ending it. While it’s vital to support survivors and provide resources for those affected, long-term change requires a deeper look at the root causes of violent behavior and the development of holistic interventions. Addressing factors like trauma, isolation, and societal expectations through therapy, education, and support systems can help prevent violence before it starts, paving the way for healthier relationships and communities.

With a commitment to addressing domestic violence comprehensively, society can create pathways for healing, growth, and the elimination of this pervasive issue. Ending domestic violence may not happen overnight, but through sustained efforts focused on prevention, intervention, and support, a safer future is within reach.

The Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), enacted in 1994 and reauthorized multiple times since, is landmark U.S. legislation aimed at preventing domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, and other forms of gender-based violence. VAWA not only funds critical services for survivors but also establishes legal protections to ensure justice and safety for victims, particularly those who may face barriers in accessing support due to immigration status, gender, or economic disadvantage.

Key Provisions of VAWA for Domestic Violence Survivors

1. Legal Protections and Law Enforcement Support

• VAWA includes funding for training law enforcement officers, prosecutors, and judges to respond effectively to cases of domestic violence, equipping them to provide victim-centered approaches that focus on victim safety and perpetrator accountability.
• Mandatory arrest policies and other provisions encourage law enforcement to take domestic violence seriously, treating it as a public safety issue rather than a private matter.

2. Immigration Protections

• VAWA addresses unique vulnerabilities for immigrant victims, many of whom fear deportation or dependency on their abuser for immigration status. Under VAWA’s immigration provisions, victims can self-petition for legal status without their abuser’s knowledge or cooperation.
• The U Visa and T Visa programs, while separate from VAWA, complement its protections by offering visas to victims of serious crimes, including domestic violence, who cooperate with law enforcement. These protections are particularly significant as they enable immigrant survivors to leave abusive situations without fear of deportation.

3. Funding for Shelters and Services

• VAWA provides grants for domestic violence shelters, hotlines, counseling, legal assistance, and other essential services. These services are often the first point of contact for victims seeking immediate safety.
• Specialized programs, like those addressing the needs of Native American communities, LGBTQ+ individuals, and disabled survivors, are supported to ensure that underserved populations have equal access to resources.

Enforcement Mechanisms and Recent Developments

Strengthening Protections

• Each reauthorization of VAWA has aimed to close gaps in protections, such as enhancing criminal justice responses, expanding housing protections, and improving protections for Native American women by allowing tribal courts to prosecute non-Native perpetrators of violence on tribal lands.

Intersection with Family Law and Divorce

• In the context of family law, VAWA plays a crucial role, particularly in cases where domestic violence impacts custody, visitation, or divorce proceedings. Judges may consider domestic violence when making custody decisions, and victims are often able to access legal representation funded by VAWA grants.

Challenges and Limitations

Despite its many successes, VAWA still faces challenges. Some argue that the act’s funding and scope need expansion to fully address the complexities of domestic violence, especially in cases involving economic abuse, coercive control, and cyber harassment. Furthermore, certain provisions related to immigration have been under attack, underscoring the need for continual advocacy to ensure VAWA remains a robust tool in fighting domestic violence.

The Legal Process Under VAWA for Survivors

For survivors seeking VAWA-based immigration relief:

1. Self-Petitioning – Survivors married to, or a child of a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident can file a petition without the abuser’s knowledge.
2. Confidentiality – VAWA ensures confidentiality throughout the petitioning process to prevent retaliation.
3. Adjustment of Status – Once a petition is approved, survivors may be eligible to apply for lawful permanent residency, granting them the freedom to live and work in the U.S. independently of their abuser.

VAWA has transformed the way the legal system addresses domestic violence, offering legal recourse, services, and protections to those most in need.

 

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